The following note was found taped to a faulty machine at a training college for Baptist ministers. 'This machine filleth with water, but "it toileth not, neither doth it spin".'

On a small island off the West Coast of Scotland they tell the story of the old minister who used to pray: 'A blessing on our beautiful island, and on the neighbouring islands of Great Britain and Ireland.'

While addressing the crowd at Speaker's Corner in London's Hyde Park, the distinguished Methodist minister Lord Soper was interrupted by a heckler who kept shouting: 'What about flying saucers?' Finally Lord Soper turned to him and, much to the delight of his audience, silenced him with: 'I cannot deal with your domestic difficulties now.'

Children have an uncanny way of reducing the inexplicable to their own terms. A child explaining how God creates people: 'He draws us first, then cuts us out.'

The game of love has altered little from cave-man days. They just changed the trumps from clubs to diamonds.

Samuel Upham, who taught at Drew Seminary in the 19th century, was much loved for his wisdom and unconquerable wit. As he lay dying, sober friends and relatives gathered about his bed. Some questioned whether he was still living. 'Feel his feet,' one advised. 'No one ever died with warm feet.' Dr Upham opened one eye. 'John Hus did,' he said. Those were his last words.

A child who was describing the difference between Jews, Protestants and Catholics said, 'They are all just different ways of voting for God.'

The Rev. Dr. Henry Ward Beecher once preached a controversial sermon against slavery. Two days later he received a letter which contained one single word, 'FOOL'. Commenting on the letter he said, 'I have known many instances of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the first case I have known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.'